TWOT Chapter 10

Song Ran lowered her head and vigorously wiped her fingers with a towel in a very serious manner. She felt as if there was something dirty on her hands that urgently needed to be wiped away.

Shen Bei handed over the digital tablet menu to Li Zan: "Do you want to add some more dishes? Have a look and see if there's anything else you want to eat."

He swept a glance at the menu, and said nonchalantly, "Let's do this for now. If there's not enough, we can add more later."

"Alright."

Song Ran kept her eyes lowered the whole time, and continuously wiped her hands over and over again.

Colleagues at the table, both men and women alike, were very intrigued about Li Zan. With his military background, it was hard for a soldier like him not to be under the spotlight.

Xiaochun asked first: "I heard from Shen Bei that you're a soldier?"

"En."

"When did you start serving in the army?" Xiao Qiu asked.

Li Zan said, "Eighteen."

"How long have you been in the army?" asked a male colleague.

"Almost five years."

Xiao Xia followed up with another question: "Are there any other people in your team that are similar to you? They have to be single..."

"Ai ya!" Shen Bei interrupted with a smile, "What are you all doing? Those in the know would say you have occupational disease, while those who don't would suspect that you're checking their household registry."

Chun, Xia, Qiu and Dong all made tutting noises at her: "Tsk, tsk, tsk, you're so protective."

Li Zan momentarily paused and didn't answer the question. He turned his head to look at Shen Bei silently. His expression was indiscernible.

However, Shen Bei only smiled at him in response.

Song Ran’s heart felt ice cold as she listened to the surrounding laughter and clamour at the table. The hot towel in her hand had long since lost its warmth. Perhaps the constant chill in her heart was due to her seat being too close to the air conditioner.

Li Zan remained silent, and the table became quiet for a few seconds. He then stood up, mentioning that he was going to the bathroom.

After he left, Shen Bei looked at everyone and scolded, "Stop being so nosy!"

Despite her remarks, the table’s atmosphere became lively and rowdy again. Xiao Xia asked, "Hey, how did you two know each other?"

Shen Bei gave a short laugh and eventually explained, "My dad once attended a very high-profile meeting on one occasion. Li Zan just so happened to be the one responsible for explosion-proof inspections that day. His secretary was a bit arrogant at the time and refused to let Li Zan check their suitcase. He even used my dad's position as a government official to intimidate him. In any case, the secretary was quite conceited."

"And then what happened next?" Everyone was very curious.

"Li zan said, 'The only thing that can suppress me is military law. You’re not qualified yet.' The secretary was so angry that he wanted to hit him. As a result, Li Zan 'accidentally' dislocated the secretary's hand. My dad was deeply impressed by this and took an immediate liking to him. He especially wanted to introduce him to me. After inquiring for a long time, he finally managed to get Li Zan’s instructor to arrange a meeting for us. Cool, right?"

"How romantic." Xiaochun said, "Since he managed to catch your father‘s eye, he must be a very outstanding person."

"Yes. I heard from their instructor that he has already earned several meritorious awards while serving in the army. Back then, my father's secretary wanted to file a complaint against him to their military team, but the report was sharply rebuffed. He’s a highly respected individual in the military."

A male colleague interjected, "Training someone to specialise in bomb disposal is a difficult process. It requires talent. Such individuals that work in this field are no doubt highly valued and supported by the military. Besides, the military and the government operate differently and are two separate systems. The secretary should have known better. He came knocking at the wrong door if he thought his level of authority was enough to forcefully pressure other people."

"However, i feel like your boyfriend is rather quiet. He hasn't spoken much at the table."

"Well isn’t that all because of you guys? You kept firing all those questions at him. He may appear mild-tempered, but he's actually a very prideful person. He hates it when other people disturb him, so please stop directing such questions at him later on. Count this as you doing me a favor."

"Tsk tsk tsk," everyone said sarcastically, "Who would have expected there would come a day when you would go to such lengths to protect someone."

Shen Bei giggled.

The person she described sounded very unfamiliar to Song Ran, as if she had never met him before.

Song Ran's nose felt overwhelmingly sour. She knew she would not be able to maintain her composure soon. She turned her head away, and rose up from her chair, heading outside to get condiments.

She quickly made her way through the corridor. After swiftly turning a corner, she looked up abruptly and saw Li Zan. She was so startled that the watery mist that had gathered in her eyes evaporated instantly.

Li Zan was leaning against the corridor’s wall, frowning slightly as he texted someone. His expression did not look very good. Her sudden appearance seemed to have also taken him by surprise, but he soon eased up a little as he looked at her quietly with his dark and bright eyes. However, he seemed to have no intention of talking to her.

Song Ran had nothing to say to him either and walked past him with her head lowered.

She walked over to the condiment table, falling into a brief daze, before picking up a plate to get some dipping sauce.

She scooped up some fermented bean curd, minced garlic, chili powder and sesame oil. Just as she was about to add some vinegar, she noticed that there was no label for vinegar and soy sauce bottles. She was trying to distinguish between them, when a low voice came from beside her: "This one is vinegar, and the other one is soy sauce."

He stretched out his hand and briefly pointed them out.

"Oh, thank you." She jerked her head up, only daring to take a hurried glance at him. She wasn’t able to see his face clearly.

He left his position from beside her and walked passed. Song Ran felt a rising sense of unease and restlessness bubbling inside of her. She couldn't stand staying a moment longer. Just as she was about to leave, she seemed to have recollected something and stealthily looked in the direction of the private dining room like a thief. She then looked back at him and said, "I'll give you the rope bracelet back."

Li Zan was putting chili peppers onto his plate when he swept his gaze over with a look of surprise.

The hall was dimly lit. The muted light that casted down onto the condiments table reflected off his face, creating a soft illusory atmosphere.

He smiled suddenly, and received the rope bracelet from her, tucking it into his jeans pocket. He then said, "I was on an emergency assignment that day and lost the note."

Song Ran said, "I lost mine as well, so I didn't end up calling you. Sorry for the trouble."

"It's alright," he said, and continued the task of adding condiments to his plate.

He was wearing a white T-shirt and jeans today, and looked very clean-cut and approachable. Completely shedding off the toughness and ruggedness of his appearance in military uniform,

Perhaps everything that she had wished and hoped for was just that, a self-delusional fantasy of hers. Perhaps even at the very start, things had always been like this.

Song Ran didn't linger around. As she made her way back to the private dining room, the corners of her mouth almost fell. She wanted to go home. She didn’t want to stay here a second longer.

Throughout the meal, Song Ran single mindedly focused on eating her hotpot, as if she had never tasted the dish before.

Shen Bei didn't mention Li Zan’s matter again, and everyone else had also stopped gossiping about him further. However, conversations at the table would still occasionally drift towards him unintentionally. Xiao Zhao, one of their male colleagues, was curious about his profession and asked, "Is bomb disposal difficult to learn?"

Li Zan said: "Learning the entry-level concepts is easy, but the further you study the more complex it becomes."

Xiaochun: "But I feel like there aren’t a lot of instances where explosions happen in real life. What do you usually do at work?"

Xiao Zhao interrupted and said, "You’re probably unaware, but they do happen in real life. It’s just that the majority of the cases are kept secret and not disclosed to the public."

Song Ran did not participate in the conversation. She lowered her head and picked up a piece of bitter gourd and stuffed it into her mouth.

Shen Bei asked: "Huh? Whose portion of abalone is this? Who hasn't eaten it yet?"

The serving of abalone was ordered according to the number of people, and now there was only one left on the large platter. Everyone had already eaten their own portion.

Xiaoqiu said: "Ranran, you haven’t eaten yours have you?"

"Ah?" Song Ran raised her head and took a look. "Oh."

Shen Bei rotated the turntable so that the large abalone was in front of Song Ran: "Ran Ran."

Song Ran picked it up and placed it into her pot: "Thank you." She gave a smile towards Shen Bei, and noticed Li Zan eating quietly beside her. Perhaps it was due to the spiciness of the food, his face was a little red.

As if it were a sin, her gaze didn’t linger on him for another second.

She had never eaten such a large and fresh abalone before, but it tasted bland in her mouth. After all, how could she possibly enjoy it, when it wasn't something she had paid for herself.

The dishes on the turntable were soon finished. Shen Bei picked up the menu again and handed it to Li Zan, asking, "Do you want to order some more?"

Li Zan said, “There’s no need.”

"No need to be so polite. It's my treat today."

"Is it?"

"Yeah, I was named Liangcheng Television Station’s most outstanding journalist for the first half of the year, and received a salary bonus. Aren't I impressive?" Shen Bei said in a sweet voice, as she tilted her head as if to ask for praise.

He hummed in response.

Song Ran pinched her chopsticks, her nails turning white. She never thought that the words "Outstanding Journalist" would hurt her so deeply as they did at this moment, cutting painfully into her that tears almost welled up in her eyes.

Fortunately, no one asked for more dishes in the end. The meal had finally come to a close and everyone dispersed.

The group gathered at the entrance to say their farewells. Li Zan spotted Song Ran through the crowd, and their eyes met inadvertently. He looked at her quietly for a second and smiled faintly at her.

Song Ran gave him a standard smile in return. Her eyes sparkled with gentleness, kindness, and happiness. I feel very happy to have met you. As she continued to smile, she sensed a bitter feeling spread from her throat and into the depths of her heart.

Ah-Zan...

Don't smile at me anymore, I mean it.

She looked away, her eyes nearly turning red.

The group of colleagues left in three cars according to their individual home routes.

Xiao Qiu and Xiao Zhao were traveling with Song Ran. Xiao Zhao, who was a military enthusiast, exclaimed again in disbelief: "I actually met a bomb disposal expert in person. Oh, why didn't I join the army back then?"

Xiao Qiu said, "Enough already, just look at your short, chubby hands. Haven't you seen what his hands are like? His hands are comparable to that of a piano player."

Song Ran didn't respond to their conversation. She recalled the moment when he stood beside her and pointed at the vinegar bottle: His fingers were long, symmetrical, and had distinct joints.

After sending Xiao Zhao home, only the two of them were left in the car. Xiao Qiu couldn't help but sigh and said, "Life is so unfair. Some people... everything just seems to belong to them."

Although the meaning behind her words were not explicit, Song Ran felt a suffocating tightness in her heart to the point that she couldn't seem to breathe. She opened the car window to get some fresh air. However, it was late July, and the night breeze blowing in was stifling and humid.

She was utterly exhausted by the time she returned to Qingzhi Lane. It was a very tiring day. Perhaps it was due to the high temperatures earlier during the day, she was so tired that she had no strength left.

Song Ran pushed open the door of the courtyard and walked inside. Moonlight spilled across the floor, and the night air exuded a light fragrance of honeysuckle flowers.

There was not a single breath of wind in the yard. The cobblestone path was mottled with moonlight, painting the ground a silvery hue. Suddenly she noticed something bright reflected against the moon’s glow. It turned out to be the missing note she had been searching for for a long time.

Li Zan's phone number was written on it.

A surge of sorrow and pain washed over her. Song Ran trampled the piece of paper beneath her feet, crushing it into the dirt. She exerted great strength, and the paper soon crumbled into pieces and merged with the soil.

She stood there with her head lowered for a long time. Then she suddenly bent down, covering her eyes. Tears began flowing down her face.

Eventually, her long suppressed sobs became audible. She climbed the stairs, crying as she went up to the second floor. After entering her room and turning on the lights, she started rummaging through the drawers, pulling out all the academic literature awards she had won as a student and the award certificates she had received from newspapers and magazines.

She flipped through them one by one, choking back sobs as she read.

"I'm obviously better than her..." She covered her face and sobbed, "I'm obviously better than her! Why isn't that award mine!"


……


The next day, Song Ran submitted an application to travel to Dongguo.

She also became the only female reporter in the station to have applied.

When Song Zhicheng learned of her decision, he was somewhat conflicted. On one hand he supported her choice, but on the other, he was also worried about her personal safety.

Seeing his response, Song Ran consequently informed him about Luo Junfeng. The editor had mentioned that he could get her book published by the best literary publishing house. Song Zhicheng was moved by this piece of news. He had always hoped that his daughter would stand out and make outstanding achievements.

As for Song Ran, casting aside her writing aspirations, she was after all a reporter and had always wanted to go back to Dongguo again.

During the first half of the year, she had gone on a business trip to Dongguo. The turbulent country, wracked with turmoil, had left a profoundly deep impression on her.

She wanted to document all these events, and more importantly, she wanted to witness them in person.

However, Ran Yuwei was strongly opposed to the idea of her traveling back to Dongguo for work. Not only did she scold Song Ran on the phone, she also fiercely berated Song Zhicheng, accusing him of selling out their daughter for his unfulfilled dreams and vanity.

Song Ran was unable to reason with her mother, however she didn't argue with her. She remained silent throughout their conversation, not wavering in the slightest with her decision.

Ran Yuwei went to great lengths to get her uncle, aunt and cousin Ran Chi to persuade her from going. Halfway through his attempt at persuading her, Ran Chi, who still retained a bit of childishness from his youth, blurted out, "No, I can't continue with this charade. I'm going to be honest here. Cousin, you're about to become a war correspondent soon. You're so cool!" After proclaiming this statement, he was slapped on the back of the head by his parents.

Song Yang also shared the same stance as the others. She was unwilling to let Song Ran go to Dongguo:

"The news earlier reported that an American journalist was kidnapped and killed. What would you do if something really happened to you? I don't want to be here crying my heart out for you."

Yang Huilun scoffed at her: "Your sister is blessed with good fortune. How could she encounter any troublesome events? She works hard to pursue her dreams, unlike you, a salted fish who loafs around all day long. Instead of worrying about these things, you might as well go find a job!"

For a brief period, the situation at home was chaotic, but things gradually died down in the face of Song Ran's unwavering resolve.

In early August, Song Ran boarded a flight to Gamma.

That day the temperature was very high. The sun was radiant, shining intensely across the sky..

As the plane took off, a beam of sunlight refracted into the planes interior, dazzling her eyes. She squinted against the harsh glare, and inevitably thought of that person again.

For the past two months, her heart had slowly blossomed under her own assumptions. How foolish of her.

She gazed out the porthole at the vast sprawling green mountains and cyan blue rivers that dotted the landscape below, recalling the dry and bleak city of Aare, and the events that happened on the 3rd of June.

Under the brilliant rays of the sun, he had pulled her along to run for their lives. And at the very last second, he had thrown them both to the ground, holding her in his embrace.

During that moment, her heart had pounded uncontrollably.

But the feelings that those heartbeats induced...

Perhaps, it was just an illusory misunderstanding after all.